i might have been over reacting.
but that just me.
WHATEVER STATED BELOW IS JUST PURE RAMBLINGS AT THIS POINT OF TIME.
it doesnt reflect what i feel everyday.
i hate to be told not able to do some thing which i actually ENJOY EXTREMELY.
even to the expense of "wasting" whatever it might be.
u steal away my happiness. that is.
hit me RIGHT at the weakest spot
and what u get is a vulnerable me.
denial, emotional, illogical, nonsensical, irrational, unreasonable, UNBELIEVABLE.
only this yr dec
i renew my faith. i did blog though.
i choose to open up, choose to believe, choose to make changes, choose to CHANGE everything.
I CHOOSE TO because u brought me faith.
it's been 5yrs or more that i stopped FEELING yet i chose to do so now.
i haven been treating ppl nice for so long. along that 5yrs, i actually toughen up myself to be not affected by EVERY single thing. everything is just NOTHING to me. even new colleagues, new friends.
now i open up slowly, break off that wall of mine bits by bits till its bare and yet im hit so damn easily.
too sensitive, too easily hurt, too emotional. TOO WEAK!
any one will actually believe that im weak?
doubt so. im a typical CRAB. hard on the outside. soft on the inside.
i reacts greatly to what said/done to me.
sad to say, i nv change.. from sec sch to now. doom.
it might just be a small matter which i SHLDNT even be sad abt
but my heart just cant helped it. too weak.
it just get upset the way it wants though my brain told me nt to do so.
too fragile. too fragile. too fragile.
it's true that i dont know how to handle.
i dont know how to face.
im borned to run away from my feelings once i got hit.
just escape n hide to no man's land. thats me.
maybe i shld just turn back my old self.
keep my heart to myself.
stop feeling anymore.
stop being nice.
stop believing.
stop trusting.
start building up walls.
start to be non-chalant.
start being hard-up.
i understand where u're coming from. i get what u mean. i just need time to adjust myself.
not that u're wrong doing so.
its just that emotions is getting the best of me at this moment.
i just cant help it. it lost control.Labels: ^chipmunk, momentous