我的心情起伏 - 内心世界

*Sunday, August 22, 2010

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

LESSONS FROM THE GEESE

By Robert McNeish, former Assoc. Superintendent of Baltimore Public Schools, 1972

We live in an area where geese are very common. We see them coming in the Fall and leaving in early Spring. Their migration is an awesome sight.

There is interdependence in the way geese function.

FACT: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an "up lift" for the bird following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

LESSON: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

FACT: Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone, it quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the "lifting power" of the bird immediately in front.

LESSON: If we have a much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those who are headed where we want to go.

FACT: When a goose gets tired, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies at the point position.

LESSON: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. People, as with geese, are interdependent with each other.

FACT: The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

LESSON: We need to make sure our "honking" from behind is encouraging, not criticism or something less helpful.

FACT: When a goose gets sick or wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation to follow him down to help and protect him. They stay with him until he is either able to fly again or dies. They then launch out again and join another formation or catch up with their flock.

LESSON: If we have as much sense as the geese, we will stand by each other.

Labels: inspirative

by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 1:19 AM. 0 comments

*Friday, August 20, 2010

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

Article to share : Relationships

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here...Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked theiridiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have toDO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that __expression.It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happenedTO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse'sidiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you willnotice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on theeuphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVERjust happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.'Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationshipWILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.Remember always this:

'God determines who walks into your life.It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away,who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.

Labels: inspirative

by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 1:17 AM. 0 comments

*Saturday, October 24, 2009

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

used vs loved

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child's hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder..
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it's the only day you'll have before it's over.

applies not only to family members and with your friends especially those that's close to yr heart.

my thoughts:
people are to be love.....

regardless if the ones i love, love me, i'll still love them.

meeting is by fate, being friends is by choice, still friends is destiny.
since being friends is by choice, we shld not do anything that hurts to them, instead love them with all you can.

Labels: inspirative

by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 12:39 AM. 0 comments

*Thursday, July 31, 2008

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

Breakfast at McDonald's

:- gotten this from an email. read on =)

Breakfast at McDonald's

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end!(After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So I thought this would be a piece of cake.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.

It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'.

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.'

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

There is an Angel sent to watch over you.

In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want watched over.

An Angel wrote:

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head.

To handle others, use your heart.

God Gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

Send it back, you'll see why !

A Box of gold

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

With a secret inside

that has never been told

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

This box is priceless

but as I see

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

The treasure inside is

precious to me

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

Today I share this

treasure with thee

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

It's the treasure of

friendship you've

given me.

Labels: inspirative

by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 11:23 PM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, July 29, 2008

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

没有耐心听完她最后一句话的人，不是你一生的守望者

saw it from a note of a online friend. it's really sweet and heart warming. enjoy reading!

那个时候，女孩和男孩正处在恋爱的季节。每次打电话，两个人总要缠缠绵绵许久。末了，总是女孩在一句极为不舍的“再见”中先收了线，男孩再慢慢感受空气中剩余的温馨，还有那份难舍难分的淡淡情愁……

后来，两人分了手。女孩很快就有了新男友，帅气，豪爽。女孩感到很满足，也很得意。后来，她渐渐感到，他们之间好像缺些什么，这份不安一直让她有种淡淡的失落。是什么呢？她不明白。只是两人通话结束时，女孩总感觉自己的“再见”才说了一半，那边“叭”的一声挂线。每当那时，她总感到刺耳的声音在空气中凝结成冰，划过自己的耳膜。她仿佛感到，新男友像一只断线的风筝，自己那无力的手总也牵不稳那根无望的线。

终于有一天，女孩和他大吵了一架。男友很不耐烦的转身走了。女孩没有哭，似有一种解脱的感觉。

一天，女孩又想起最初的男孩，心中涌起一份感动：那位听完她“再见”的傻男孩。这种感动让她慢慢拿起电话。男孩的声音依旧质朴，波澜不惊。女孩竟无语凝噎，慌忙中说了“再见”……

这回女孩没有收线，一股莫名的情绪让她静静聆听电话那端的沉寂。

不知过了多久，男孩的声音传了过来，你为什么不挂电话？

女孩的嗓音涩涩的，为什么要我先挂呢？

习惯了。男孩平静的说，我喜欢你先挂电话，这样我才放心。可是后挂线的人总是有些遗憾和失落的。女孩的声音有些颤抖。

所以我宁愿把这份失落留给自己，只要你开心就好。

女孩终于抑制不住哭了，滚烫的泪水浸湿了脑海中有关爱的记忆。她终于明白，没有耐心听完她最后一句话的人，不是她一生的守望者。原来爱情有时候就这么简单，一个守候，便能说明一切。

Labels: inspirative

by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 12:07 AM. 0 comments

*Monday, January 28, 2008

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

Are you Carrot, Egg or Coffee Bean?

A daughter complained to her father about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that just as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and the last he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her he asked, "Darling, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

She humbly asked, "What does it mean, Father?"

He explained that each of them had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. But after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

How about you? Are you the carrot that seems hard, but with pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose your strength?

Are you the egg, which starts off with a malleable heart? Were you a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a divorce, or a layoff have you become hardened and stiff? Your shell looks the same, but are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and heart?

Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean changes the hot water, the thing that is bringing the pain, to its peak flavor reaches 212 degrees Fahrenheit. When the water gets the hottest, it just tastes better. If you are like the coffee bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and make things better around you.

How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Labels: inspirative

by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 11:01 PM. 0 comments

*Friday, October 12, 2007

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

The Law of the garbage truck

How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive colleague ruin your day? Unless you’re a robot, you are bound to blow your top off. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly he or she can get back his or her focus on what’s important.

Sixteen years ago, I learned this lesson. I learn it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happen.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car’s back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly. So, I said,‘Why did you do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’

And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now called, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck’.

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of fustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. If theyhappen to dump it on you, don’t take it personally.

You just smile, wave, wish them well, and moved on. You’ll be happier if you did that rather than fight them.

So this was it: ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck’.

I started thinking, how often do I let garbage trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the street? It was that day I said, ‘I’m not going to do it anymore.’ I see garbage trucks everywhere and everyday. I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my taxi driver, I don’t make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know they have to welcome their kids home from school with hugs and kisses. Teachers and parents know that they have to be fully present and at their best for the people they care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here’s my bet. You’ll be happier.

So…love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don’t.
Believe that every thing happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
If it changes your life, LET IT!
Nobody said it would be easy…
They just promised it would be WORTH IT

Cheers!
‘Life is short. Enjoy the journey.’

Labels: inspirative

by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 11:00 AM. 0 comments