im starting to feel what being told had slowly fall into places and placed right infront of me.
"u will be revolving around numbers, calculating, money"
since young i always felt money dont bring me happiness, so do i now.
to me, what's the point of having so much money when what you want deep down will never be satisfy?
what's the point of having so much money, end of the day you are still alone, feeling empty, never happy, always lonely.
i always wanted good life. Good as in quality life with people close to my heart to be around me and just having enough to provide and survive.
i want simple happiness, simple bliss...
seriously speaking,
this work really test my tolerance, determination, perseverance.
there are times i really wish to fuck care everything and just leave.
i dont care if im not going to get a better pay job after this but at least it's not mentally draining.
i hate the way how it torture my brains, my emotions. I SIMPLY HATE IT!!!
what the fucking shit is consistency!
im not one with it! NOT ONE! NEVER ONE!
as much as i love rules and regulations, i love breaking it.
BUT none of them i can break here!
so im trapped in the shit of consistency in the rules n regulations!
oh not forgetting CONSISTENCY of feeling mentally drained, CONSISTENCY of repeating emotional cycles, CONSISTENCY of not having the energy to meet friends n chill...
stop telling me to stop thinking and you can start enjoying or to ask me give myself a break and relax. after the whole damn relaxation, you fucking get back to the same old crap!
im someone who LOVES to shrink responsibilities whenever i meet them
BUT, no way for here! so... i feel trapped AGAIN!
im someone who LOVES to talk talk talk crap crap crap joke joke joke and work together
BUT, no way here! there's limitations, restrictions and please kill those gossipers, CNN reporters, troublemakers and whats not. best if they get run down by cars or hit by flower pots etc. SHIT THEM! so... TRAPPED AGAIN!
SCREWED the TT and CV that had to be monitored!
cover here cover there. time all spent covering shitholes, does it mean we doesnt need to work?
want this want there yet demand so many things.
whole loads of crappy stuffs.
YA,YA! that's life. everyone says it the same.
"We all experiencing the same thing"
"You are sian, so do it"
"That's work, That's life"
FUCK YOU! i know! Cant you see im just grumbling?
everything is just grumbles.
OH, maybe it's just another emo emo days.. or PMS..
just needed a place to vent frustrations. Nowhere else to.. So here you goes, nottie.
sometimes a person just need to vent out what's on their mind and that crushing emotions but people will never understand how to handle it well.
sometimes responses are not needed. all you need to do is just listen or some CONSTRUCTIVE advices are welcome.
JUST DONT "TRY TO BE NICE" WHEN PEOPLE DONT NEED THAT kind of unconstructive responses.
that's why i always believe when you are down, just be alone or find one or two close friends whom you know will response the way you want it to, will be the best deal.
good friends.. dont need more.
a couple will do.
at times, blogging will do just fine too.
sigh.. keep to yourself is better.
FUCKING PIECE FULL OF SHIT!
i wish..
i wish..
if leaving can be as easy as ABC.Labels: ^roro, momentous, work