sometimes i just cant handle my own emotions.
but now i dont show it out anymore.
i'll just keep to myself, emo to myself, get pissed off with myself.
not showing out partly because people wont even bother.
so who am i showing it to?
if i were to show it out, i want someone who really cares and bothers to be at my side.
not just some tom, dick n harry who just want to kpo what im thinking/feeling and doesnt really bothers abt me.
recently i then realise sitting alone outside and getting freezed is one of the way for me to calm my uneasy heart down.
somehow or other it just "frozen" whatever im feeling upset about.
i enjoy the cold breeze at the open space below my office building.
sitting alone there really make me felt PEACE.
the very first time i sit alone in a chilling weather was last yr christmas eve.
for some reason, i went back UE SQ.
for some other reason, i just sit at starbucks alone with the little drizzling going on.
it's such a freaking cold eve. -__-"
the second time was yesterday.
hidayah was with me at first but left after that.
being me, i didnt want to go home yet unless i feel settled. so i sit alone again.
for some reason, im emo.
for some other reason, im angry.
for more more reason, my mood riding on me and make me so crippled.
i cant do anything, cant say anything, to anyone, anybody.
overly surpress of what i wanted to actually blabber out, i felt helpless.
affected by the negative stuffs in my team, worse still Special one aint helping.
so i choose the last alternative but to freeze myself in the cold weather.
i need solitude.Labels: ^chipmunk, momentous, ramblings